like deformed horsemen of the apocalypse,

not on horses but on televisions,
and not biblical in stature
but boneless and pink

were going to die
they’re going to die i said?
ye, honestly right, they’re just gonna die!
i laughed at the care home
when the family came back
after we had already tied the old man’s feet,
he wasn’t quite dead but well on his way
death was rattling
like the lid of a pot on the boil
and you wanted to clock off early
we had to untie him as they walked up the stairs

for their final goodbye.
i laughed when we took legal advice
on ten-centimeter-high red plastic
children’s chairs
pouring out the intimate details of our life
in the crèche room of a church
you crying, not from laughter
well i looked at the wendy oven and laughed, 

thinking that they didn’t make ovens
you could stick your head in anymore
i laughed when
the ashes blew back in the wind
when the cat ate the kids new hamster
when you called in sick on a sunday afternoon 

because in the midst of a bender
you had lost your place in time
and thinking it was monday morning
left your manager a voicemail
i can’t make it in today i’m afraid
i’ve um... very sick this morning
i laughed when the bailiffs left their letters
next to the television
as if they thought it to be our most
treasured possession
and when you ran the foot of one of them over 

so they couldn’t take the car
i laughed when the priest said
jim would rest in heaven
when he didn’t know the man
and jim was a heroin-dealing pedophile
- later i laughed at the wake in the harvester
as i ate from the buffet

the food was awful,
the memories worse
and when the lion
killed the game keeper
who, dedicating his life to the animal 

had believed his captive loved him

i couldn’t help 

but cry a little too